Thursday
Apr192012

ambivalence

...               I love

to stand among the last trees listening down

to the releasing branches where I've been - 

the rain, thinking I've gone, crackles the air

and calls by name the leaves that aren't yet there.

from Wood Not Yet Out by Alice Oswald

Now that drought has officially been declared in our area, it's rained solidly for the past week or so. That really heavy, vertical rain that drills straight into the soil. Good for plants but bothersome to walk around in. Unless you have a rather fetching olive green hunter-style hat with a ludicrously large peak that makes it a matter of pride not to let a drop of rain touch face. I have such a hat and, while I may not win an award for style, I remain drier of head than your average walker. 

As I dwell on a decision that needs to be made and acted upon by tomorrow - and which I've really already made but can't quite bring myself to accept - I tune into the rhythm and patterns of rain. I like the hypnotically loud and regular drumming sound on the brim as I walk: it goes a little way to drumming out circular thoughts that walking alone has failed to do. 

And so the sun comes out now, until the next shower in a half hour or so, judging by the colour of the sky. Then comes that glorious hour before sunset when the skies ease and break into extravagantly tinted pinks and purples. Before it all begins again. I'm sure I'll miss it when it's gone, and sunny skies are taken for granted. 

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Reader Comments (4)

I love your hat description. I hope acting upon your decision goes as you'd like. Enjoy those pinks and purples.
April 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDenise | Chez Danisse
My hat is incongruous with my rather small face but I feel invincible in it on those sometimes lonely stretches of land as I out-crazy any crazy out there ;) A florid pink sky tonight - hopefully a sign of a decision well made.
April 19, 2012 | Registered Commenterlittle house
There is something quite meditative about the constant drumming of rain. I like your description of tinted evening skies. Best of luck with the decision - fingers crossed all is well for you. Annie x
April 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie
I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your blog and beautiful photos.

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